I Can’t Believe It Took Me This Long To Play Yakuza 0

Remember how I took a million years to play Slime Rancher because I was a huge dum-dum and put it off for ages, only to find that I was obsessed with it? Well, it made me realise that there are so many games that fit this category. So this might be a series. And another one of those games is Yakuza.

Believe it or not, people who write for games publications haven’t played every game that has ever been released. Except for me, of course. I’ve played every single game ever made. That being said, I also haven’t done that, and that was a lie. I tricked you. I did a Joker’s Trick on you and you fell for it.

I’m a fan of the goofy, the silly, and the downright ridiculous. On top of that, I also love when games have a strong story, a fascinating cast of characters, and a whole lot of heart. Based on all of this alone, you’d assume I would be a seasoned player of the Yakuza series and yet it flew right under my radar. Why? I have absolutely no idea.

Due to it being available on PlayStation Plus Extra, I decided, ‘Fuck it, I’m not busy,’ and downloaded Yakuza 0, the 2015 release that acts as a prequel for the rest of the games. I wasn’t even that far into the game before I was convinced that it’s perfect. I love it. It’s a perfect game.

This realisation has made many people in my life very happy. Our very own David Smith was absolutely over the moon when he found out I had started playing it. He was like a proud father and me? I was the kid that hadn’t pissed the bed for the first time in 26 years.

The look of Yakuza 0 despite it being released back in 2015 blew me away. These fellas look real! They look like dudes I would just see around, but also not! I’m seeing their fuckin’ pores, man! I’ve wasted so much time just walking around and looking at stuff. And from SEGA, too! Wowza!

Another thing I’ve done? Activities. I am an absolute master at the claw games. I have so many toys now because I wanted to become the master at the claw game in Yakuza 0. I played the driving game, I played (and lost) Shogi, and I ate a delicious meal at many a restaurant.

What really gave me the goofy vibes is that I was a strong fella and a king when it came to beating the shit out of delinquents. No rude guy was safe around me. However, when it came to karaoke, I was breaking a sweat. The fact that singing in a karaoke bar was harder than fighting four dudes at once had me cackling. This shit rocks.

I’m having a great time with Yakuza 0, it is truly everything I want in a game and more. My question to you, if you are a Yakuza fan, is this: where do I go next when I’m done with Yakuza 0? Do I have to go through all the games before I play Yakuza: Like A Dragon, the next game in the series that I’ve had my eye on?

Trust me, I’m nowhere near done with Yakuza 0, and I want to get as much out of it as I can, but what am I signing myself up for here? Let me know!

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